Today I went back into the world. The sun was shining and with more sleep, less self indulgence, and some humility I found a different light at a different angle. Staying apart from the world is comforting to some point but then you realize you have to be in it to get anything out of it.  It’s a choice. Easy to give up and say it’s all fucked and everyone is fucked and what’s the fucking point in the end? Being angry at the world does nothing but perpetuate more anger. Taking action is the only chance of escaping hopelessness.  Whatever action we take, no matter how small, is all we have. My choice of action today was to work little by little on doing something positive. Something as small as talking honestly to a co-worker, being as responsible as I can be to work and family, not hurting myself through indulgence or neglect, just going for the even flow of day to day – at a certain point realizing that negative energy is damaging to me and to my environment.  Some friends have helped me to realize this, either through direct discussion or by ignoring me when I am a crazy negative bitch.  Whatever works.

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