December 2007



I’m a sucker for all things cute. My god…. the little paws, the worried looks, those eyes…the snugglenose happening…. i’m going to die…….


senseofimpendingdoom is online 12/21/2007 09:51 AM:
“I am online”
oh forget it i cant’ get it to change
Then e-mail me.
so it was the recurring dream where i’m back in high school and i already have my masters but they make me go back to take a math class i failed
this dream has been on forever
but this morning i finally went to the office to check on my schedule because i never really went to class and there’s two days left of school so i figure i should find out where i was supposed to be all the time
I guess that makes sense.
and then i meet these great women in the office and we figure out it was just a joke – i never had to do it in the first place but
they go back into the files and pull out all this stuff from the 70’s
one being some papers i wrote and the girl says i’ll give you 50 dollars if you JUST DON”T READ IT

So you read it, right.
I would.

So i read it and it’s nothing that bad. I have to explain that it was the 70’s so it coulda been anything
it wasn’t bad, i never got to finish reading it
something about 60 phone calls

So weird.
then they start bringing out a ton of other stuff
including a homemade music video that was kids doing hip hop in the school library

You found the combination to your psyche.
and i’m like “no way that’s from my high school cause the best we had was the Jackson Five”
then a bunch of clothes, stuffed animals and an entire bar/buffet filled with cool stemware and then i had to watch the reenactment of how they foudn their favorite bus driver and from there the clues to my psyche started fading away
but i became best friends with the office workers before i woke up although i did not get their names

Write it down in minute detail before you forget.
so obvious on so many levels
It should be, to you.
To me? not so much.

stuck in high school, feeling things are undone, i’m a fake,
Go write it all down.
a cruel twist that i should become a teen librarian
oh yeah it’s going on my blog
i’ll have to keep this im for reference
so anyway
i was going to stay up this morning after elyse got on the bus cause i was actually fairly well rested
but i thought hell if i can sleep another hour why not
and now i’m drunk
from the dream
That’s when all the strange dreams come.
After you wake up and fall back asleep.
strange – ER? My dreams are always strange, epic Fellini-esque
I rarely dream.


I hadn’t thought much about Dan Fogelberg in the past years – well not at all actually. But the Captured Angel album was pretty much in constant play back in 1975 when I started college.  And the dude was HOT too….. but yeah….. his music was pretty saccharin in retrospect.  How many weddings did “Longer Than” play at???  But I’ll defend my younger self and say at the time he obviously hit some chord…  Anyway, Fogelberg’s death today makes me curious about the music he’s been playing in the past 30 years. I was going to borrow some CDs from the library but….. we DON’T OWN any! Nothing. zip. nada. And he has 30 albums in his discography. Seems like we’d own at least one….. jeez….. now I feel even older than before I started this post.

I bought a 3.5 foot pink tinsel tree this year. We managed to fit most of our ornaments on it. This is kind of how I’m feeling about the holiday. Small. Massive consumerism has been going on all year at my house so this year Christmas has to be small.  

My best gay boyfriend has given me a veritable library of Sex books for Christmas – I don’t know, about 20 or so??? I plan to read each one cover to cover and try everything there at least once. This will be my project for the New Year.  Yeehaw!

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I seriously need to get out of public service. I used to think I was a nice open person. Then I worked in HELL (the public library ) for about 9 years and realized I’m not. I can only smile so many times while my skin falls off because the person I’m trying to help is either so gross or so insane and annoying I cannot bring myself to keep that “customer service” attitude and keep the happy little voice going. It’s not so bad every day but when some lunar force is in effect, and the craziness really starts going, I just can’t deal.


Just watching George Clooney’s film on HBO “Sand and Sorrow”, more on the Darfur genocide.  The tradition of female genital mutilation where the vagina is sewn shut with a thread of THORNS,  which causes massive scar tissue, means the subsequent rape of these women and girls by the Arab marauders (the Janjaweed) is all the more brutal.  As if rape isn’t brutal enough.  And what has happened there? Refugees decreasing? Maybe because they’re all dying or being killed but still, it continues.

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I like what the.effing.librarian is saying here.  Teens don’t think librarians are cool.  Maybe they like us to help them with their homework or with finding their favorite books, but they do not think we’re cool no matter what age we are. I think we need to give up that ghost. I know I’m over it.

The Stranger is doing it’s annual fundraiser The Strangercrombie Annual Holiday Gift Auction. All proceeds go to FareStart, which enrolls homeless men and women in an intensive 16-week program of on-the-job training and classroom instruction in cooking, as well as assisting with medical treatment, places to sleep, and social services. FareStart runs a restaurant and catering service, and also provides meals for shelters and low-income schools.

I have bid $600 for the Blake Lewis Karaoke gift. I’m guessing if I win, I get to sing Karaoke somewhere in Seattle with Blake. Why I chose to get into this, I’m not really sure. Seemed like fun?? Anyway, I’ve pledged $500 of my own money and friends are kicking in the rest. Any of my 2 or 3 readers who want to join in, let me know.  If you donate, you get to come to the show! What an incentive, huh?

photo from

UPDATE: I’m still the top bidder.   I asked WHERE this will occur and The Stranger answered “at a mutually agreeable venue”…… I’m thinking Yen Wor. That way my daughter can come in the restaurant side and meet Mr. L. Perhaps I’m counting my chickens before they hatch here…..

UPDATE 2:  I’ve been outbid. I’m going to wait till Friday afternoon and see how high the bidding goes. I might put my money on something else fun, like mac n cheese at West 5 for a year. Or the odd assortment of plushies, which includes a stuffed sperm.

This is from the New York Public Library’s current exhibit of contemporary prints which includes a series titled “Line Up”  by artists Nora Ligorano and Marshall Reese.  From the Times… “Each black-and-white digital print is a mug shot-style diptych in which a member of the Bush administration appears in profile and face forward, holding a police identification sign and the date on which he or she made a statement of questionable veracity relating to Iraq.”  The controversy lies in the fact that this is a display in a public library, supposedly a politically neutral institution.  Thanks to Woeful for the heads up!


I did not get the librarian job I recently interviewed for. It was an Adult Services job in a neighborhood closer to my home. I have been a Teen Services Librarian for 8 years in an affluent neighborhood a good distance from my own, less a brief stint as a temporary Adult librarian about 4 years ago.  I never intended to be a Teen librarian, it just happened to turn out that was where there was a job 8 years ago and that’s where I ended up. I have always been somewhat ambivilent about it, although in the beginning I was pretty enthusiastic and did some big programs.  Now I am really tired of the teen novels, the trying to be hip and cutting edge, the trying to cope with all the teen awkwardness and angst. I want to grow up and work with grown ups. But the system won’t let me. I don’t play the game correctly. I don’t interview like a star. I’m grateful to have a job, don’t get me wrong, but I know I could do a better job if I was given some new challenges and a different sandbox to play in.  It’s tough not to take it personally and it’s tough to fight the bitterness that seems to overtake so many people who’ve been in the system for a while.  We know who we are. I guess all I can do is keep applying for the jobs as they come up and hope eventually the situation will be right and the change will come. In the meantime,  just keep on going.