I did not get the librarian job I recently interviewed for. It was an Adult Services job in a neighborhood closer to my home. I have been a Teen Services Librarian for 8 years in an affluent neighborhood a good distance from my own, less a brief stint as a temporary Adult librarian about 4 years ago.  I never intended to be a Teen librarian, it just happened to turn out that was where there was a job 8 years ago and that’s where I ended up. I have always been somewhat ambivilent about it, although in the beginning I was pretty enthusiastic and did some big programs.  Now I am really tired of the teen novels, the trying to be hip and cutting edge, the trying to cope with all the teen awkwardness and angst. I want to grow up and work with grown ups. But the system won’t let me. I don’t play the game correctly. I don’t interview like a star. I’m grateful to have a job, don’t get me wrong, but I know I could do a better job if I was given some new challenges and a different sandbox to play in.  It’s tough not to take it personally and it’s tough to fight the bitterness that seems to overtake so many people who’ve been in the system for a while.  We know who we are. I guess all I can do is keep applying for the jobs as they come up and hope eventually the situation will be right and the change will come. In the meantime,  just keep on going.

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