Okay… here’s the deal. My co-worker likened this piece of music to my mindset the other day. I was feeling all guilty about writing negative stuff in the blog all the time so I started to write something cheerful… like this….

“It’s all captured in the small moments. Like laughing with a coworker who you think secretly despises you but sometimes you still laugh together and you can’t believe she wouldn’t really love you on some level. Like getting a totally strong show of support from a friend who thinks you might need him to have your back. Like having a beautiful daughter who tells you honestly you’re not always the best mom but you’re a good enough mom. Like having friends who stick by you no matter what. There’s beauty in the interactions and in all of the day to day struggle. “

Hear the birds singing? See the clouds parting? Feel the sun shining down upon you now?

So my friend B says, more or less, that this is just not like me… it’s like Beethoven’s No. 8 in C Minor… all minor chords, those unrelenting minor chords, just till the last part where he switches to C major and it sounds all pretty for a little bit, but then… bam! Back to C minor for the finish… like “hell no… I’m going back to the minor chords .. screw that pretty, melodic shit…”

So today I listened to the piece while furiously cleaning the house and working off some anxiety about finances, an upcoming trip to Canada (where I might be denied entry due to an old run-in with the law…. makes me sweat just to think about it) and life in general.

I don’t know. I think the pretty shit is nice sometimes. I guess we should enjoy it when it comes round. That is all.

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