April 2008


Wow. These girls are amazing. Personality, sweetness, hilarity… these girls are amazing. Did I just say that??? I never thought I could love rats so much – I’m a dog person.. but they are like extremely small dogs…. they come when you beckon (usually), they jump on your lap, they want to be with their humans. They’re crawling on me as I type this very blog. And they are so funny to watch… hunched up on their hind legs looking for the next adventure, yawning as they lie snuggled together in their hammock.. running around the house, Baby’s nose to Delilah’s tail…. endless entertainment…

Oh.. and then this came to me this morning…

I felt strangely happy today. Probably because the sun was actually out for a while. “Strange” because happy is not an emotional state I’ve experienced in quite a while.

This winter/so called spring has been really hard on a lot of people in my life. I don’t know if we can attribute it to Bush, global warming, the flu epidemic, the economy, Iraq, general malaise or what – but I would say it’s been a rough few months… and then it came to me:

We’re all just here to hold each other up. To help each other through the shit that life deals. That’s it, plain and simple. The meaning of life. It’s about the people you hold dear and being there for them. If we come across people who are not going to be there for us and help in the holding up, then we have to let them go or at least not count them as part of our primary landscape…

Male or female, friends, family or lovers…. we are only here to support and help each other … and we’re all a little crazy on some level. So we don’t need to beat ourselves up for our shortcomings because we all have them. The key is helping each other out.

I don’t know. It helped me crawl out of my hole. Maybe it will help you.

PS: And and then there was John Stewart asking Obama tonight: “If you win will you enslave the white race?” Now we all have to love that…..

From today’s Huffington Post:

To put it bluntly, the next president will be elected by white men: the outcome of Tuesday’s Pennsylvania primary will depend on whether they go for Hillary or Obama, and the outcome of the general election will depend on whether enough of them vote for McCain. A lot of them will: white men cannot be relied on, as all of us know who have spent a lifetime dating them. “

Amen sister….. amen….. 

I have nothing to say so I’m going away until I do. I’m pretty sure I’m in a depression. I’ve had bronchitis for a long time and I’m not getting a lot better. I can’t workout, don’t sleep too well, get tired really easily. All in all it’s a bit of a bummer. That and this goddamned Seattle weather… cold and rainy all the freaking time. It will pass and hopefully when it does I’ll have something to say and something to care about again. Here’s one little bit of hopeful news before I go: I talked to my 85 year old southern conservative (a/k/a a former racist, republican, southern baptist) mother today and she told me (again….it’s sticking!!!!) that she thinks Obama is the best of the 3 presidential hopefuls….. my god…..that is pretty amazing if you ask me…. cheers.

Other than blogging, reading other people’s blogs, writing my dog’s blog, e-mailing my friends incessantly…

At 1minute 19 seconds… Tom really cuts loose. It’s worth the wait, believe me.

 

OK… right up front I’ll say sure, she’s a bit younger and thinner and a little hotter than I am, but plenty of people have told me I look a lot like Mary Louise Parker – indeed a Southern three-part name… she is in fact, from my own hometown!!! From IMDB…… “Southern-bred Mary-Louise Parker, from Fort Jackson, (which is in Columbia) South Carolina, was born on August 2, 1964, the youngest of the family’s brood. She showed potential in her teens and majored in acting in her college years, graduating from the North Carolina School of the Arts” ….1964 huh? Hah! Not that much younger…….. in dog years…. or something……. ok, what about this one???

I accept the comparison as a true compliment. WEEDS is one of my favorite shows. I love the actors, the storyline, the dark humor and the sex – my god, Mary Louise and Romany Malco (Conrad) are hot…. But today, in an effort to save money, I canceled my HBO and Showtime subscriptions. Now, for Weeds, Entourage, Californication and other favorites I will have to wait for DVD release to satisfy my addiction. Hell, it’s only saving me about 22 dollars a month… I’m considering just getting rid of the cable altogether …. I watch way too much TV. And there’s plenty on regular network programming to keep me busy…

This was the theme of today after sinking into despair last night over finances: fix this situation. Somehow. I’ve been living beyond my means for a very long time, pretending I have money when I have none. Now my credit card is maxed out again and my savings account is gone. My safety nets have been yanked. This is what I know about myself – I am terrible with money. But I am also resilient and will manage to take care of myself and my daughter. And while I owe a ton of money, I always pay my bills on time and have an excellent credit score. For now.

But back to the fun part of this post. Who is your Doppelganger? Don’t be modest…… tell me…. I think T4 is a more handsome Martin Short, my friend Derrick is John C. O’Reilly, Elisabeth82 (in her before pics) looks like one of those models on this season of ANTM (Whitney), and my girl looks like the YOUNG (think Parent Trap) Lindsay Lohan…… but feel free to dispute these comparisons……

So I took the spawn to Victoria for an overnight stay on Tuesday. Traveling as a somewhat unhinged, sober, menopausal single mom with possible pneumonia was a challenge, to put it mildly. There were thoughts of flinging myself into the harbor and simply drowning to put an end to my miserable life. But obviously, it was just a fantasy I entertained for a few dismal moments. There were some fun moments as well…. and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that one can purchase cough syrup with codeine without a doctor’s prescription in Canada…

I’ll leave the parenting misery for later but now my librarian rant …. have you heard the latest on the Victoria library strike? It looks like the strike lead to a shutdown. And the coolest part is that the library staff simply stopped collecting overdue fines in an effort to get their grievance over unequal pay across to management. They didn’t stop working (except for a few lunchtime rolling walkouts) they just stopped taking money from the public to supplement the library budget. Brilliant. I see now ( a few days after I started this post) that they have reached a settlement, the workers got their salary increases and the libraries will reopen on April 8th….. But I didn’t get to see the library and you know as a librarian I am under the obligation to visit every library in every new town I visit. Again, no luck… when I was in NYC the library was closed due to a holiday…. dammit!!!

Now on to the next topic: the pregnant so called “man”…. makes me ask “what IS a man anyway?” Seriously. Is manhood now just a state of mind? There are too many transgendered people in the world to hang on to the standard beliefs any longer. But I get a pretty good case of cognitive dissonance when the subject of the pregnant “man” comes up. Because if “he” was really a man he could not be pregnant. But we are all supportive of people who want to realize their true, inner selves. But if he is really a man in his mind and spirit why keep the ovaries, the uterus, etc… ??? And I suppose it’s not really my business, but I am confused. Totally. Why are we all having babies in the first place?? Do we need the babies? Is it just selfishness to want a baby – like wanting a cute little puppy??? Are there not enough accidental, unwanted children in the world already? But I have my own child, natural born, so I can’t really complain can I? Or can I?

UPDATE: Apparently this is not the first transgendered male to have a baby! Wow… see http://www.transparentthemovie.com/