So from time to time I check the State Sex Offender Information website just to see who’s lurking in my neighborhood. There are quite a few Level 2 and 3 sex offenders living within a 3 mile radius of my house. Not particularly surprising considering that I live in an okay neighborhood but it borders on some not so nice hoods. So here I am at the reference desk clicking through the names, looking at the pictures of the guys (yes, all guys) thinking “creepy”, “not that creepy”, “sorta cute for a sex offender”, etc. and then….. up comes a name I know. And a face to go with it. And a Level 3 offender, he is. Here’s the definition of a Level 3 Offender:

“These offenders pose a potential high risk to the community and are a threat to re-offend if provided the opportunity. Most have prior sex crime convictions as well as other criminal convictions. Their lifestyles and choices place them in this classification. Some have predatory characteristics and may seek out victims. They may have refused or failed to complete approved treatment programs.

Oh yes, it’s the guy I hooked up with shortly after splitting with my husband almost 2 years ago. We had an “arrangement” of sorts. He was pretty hot actually and agreed to come over once a month and have sex with me. He was strange – sad and sweet in a way, but hot nonetheless. 6’5″ and very lean/muscular with some tattoos. Just what I needed yes? No strings, just hot sex on demand. We never actually made it past the first month, however, because I met someone else and you know the rest of that story if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time. Level 3 continued to drunk dial me and crash my doorstep at ungodly hours for a while after I told him the arrangement was off. He was never scary or threatening… just sort of pathetic. He would tell me how beautiful and smart I was and why couldn’t we keep seeing each other??? Finally, I got it through to him that it just wasn’t going to happen. I moved from the apartment I was living in and never saw him again.

Until I saw his picture on the Sex Offender Information website, that is. The actual crime is not listed, simply referred to as an “out of state felony violation”…. My immediate reaction was pretty much revulsion, shock, horror, nausea. I had this guy in my house. I’ve always considered myself to have pretty good “antennae” when it comes to assessing people. I’ve been pretty lucky in life when it comes to picking up strangers out of the blue. But there he was. Mugshot and all.

After the initial revulsion and some deep breathing, I realized he was never any kind of threat to me. He was a lost soul. My antennae might be okay after all. I don’t know the circumstances of his crime. I never will. It could have been a real rape, or maybe he was falsely accused and convicted. Either way, I ended up feeling worse for him than I did before. Am I crazy?