OK.. time for another installment in the I LOVE BEING A LIBRARIAN saga (that’s Sherriff Andy Taylor’s girlfriend Helen Krump up there if you didn’t recognize her).  We have a patron who I have named Fart Man. He is in the library every day (for the past 10 years) and farting the whole time he is in here. It is totally disgusting. He lives very close to the library, so it’s not like he has to hang out in here all day spreading his farts around… he could do it at home before he comes in….. He is an old hippie who probably eats a lot of beans and subscribes to the notion that farting is healthy. “Free farters”, I call these types. I think one should fart if one feels the need, just not continuously and in public and when  not in the restroom. Fart Man started my day off on a bad note.

Next a lady came to the desk and asked me to tell a man who was using his laptop and talking on his cell phone to please stop talking on his cell phone because he’d been on for like an hour droning on about some business deal. Of course, I did ask him to take it outside because that’s what I’m supposed to do. He was not a reall asshat about it. But then, about 30 minutes later another patron, a male, came to the desk and asked me to ask THE SAME GUY to quit eating nuts in the library.  Of course, you’re not supposed to eat in the library but eating some nuts is not a real offense to me. I punted. I made my clerk go over and tell him to cease and desist on the nut chomping. I couldn’t face going over to him and correcting his behavior again… why? I’m a whimp I guess.

A funny question but highly relevant during Banned Books Week:  An older gentleman asked me if there was a list of books that were attempted to be banned by “Sister Sara”  !!!! See link in my blogroll.

Then, the highlight of my day, my week, my life (??) came in the door.  A guy who’s been flirting quite heavily with me for the past few weeks. And he’s pretty hot. And interesting. Artist, musician, oenophile, clothing designer, looks a lot like Lenny Kravitz, extremely self-confident. He is moving to California tomorrow. Of course. But he asked if we could get together tonight, his last night in town, and “make a memory”….  that is some crazy shit.  Crazy shit. I declined but told him I’d send him an imaginary memory in an e-mail soon.  I wonder where that would have gone if he wasn’t moving…  at least it bolstered my flailing, gasping, staggering self -esteem.   Oh how we love working in the library.

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