So I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve started a few, but they fizzled. Tonight I’m sitting at the ex’s house (i.e. my old house) waiting to pick him and my daughter up from the airport. They’ve been in Arizona visiting his parents this week and I’ve been staying here watching the animals. At first, it seemed unbearably depressing to be here. Now it seems odd to be leaving. The cabin is nice – don’t get me wrong –  but it’s too small. It’s too hard to access. Muddy drive, lots of stairs, locks on gates, etc. I like pulling up to the curb and walking up a walkway to a house.  Have I mentioned I’m fat and lazy too? 20 lbs. gained in the past year. Menopause, drinking, eating late at night, no excercise  – it’s made me the man I never wanted to be. Oh. Man, because I played with the clippers the other night and now have no hair left. It will grow out. I like not having to do anything with it. But I do look rather butch.

So I’m searching for an apartment and hoping to have my own space soon. I need it. I know it. Cabin life has been sweet for the most part but, forgive me S., the cabin smell is not one I appreciate. A bit moldy. My clothes smell moldy. My allergies are having a party on the scale of  the Olympics. Must get my own space.

Started my “new” job at a huge branch in the north area of Seattle. I was pretty pissed about being transferred, but once I got there I realized it was just what I needed. The old branch of 10 years was sucking the life out of me. Lots of negative energy. Too much like a dysfunctional family and not enough like a workplace. I’m no corporate shill but I think I’m going to try to keep it at least slightly professional and keep  my personal life out of the spotlight in this new branch. No coworkers joking about my sex life, lifestyle, cleavage, etc….

So. Nothing too earth shattering here. Perplexed as always about life, love, money and all of it. Do I have hope? Yes. And that is good.

El Nino has given Seattle an early Spring and a very mild winter.  Cherry blossoms abound.  I’ve been noting birds and wildlife along the shore.  There is hope.