August 2008


About Michelle Obama’s speech tonight at the Dems Convention.  I know the doubt, I know the disappointments we have suffered as Obama waffles towards the status quo. But I can’t explain now how seeing this beautiful (yes, it does help sometimes) smart woman stand as a Black woman ready to become the President’s partner …. strong….. real… ( I think)…..  smooth…..  it made me cry for a while.  Of course, the expected criticism will come that she is “too strong” “too eloquent”… my god, she’s Hillary Clinton on steroids…. but no, she is just part of the whole picture.  Not a subjugate, not a poser, not a prop. A real woman who can speak (!!!!! can you fucking imagine???!!) in public and connect with her audience.

Coming from a childhood in the 60’s in the South, I find this an amazing moment. Cry White Guilt, Liberal guilt, Liberal sucking up …. whatever. Having lived through the assansinations of Presidents, Presidential candidates and Civil Rights leaders, being told I could not be friends with black kids at my school after desegregation, still seeing remnants of this in Seattle and in South Carolina…… depending on who you’re talking to…… this is a huge moment in history for me. It shouldn’t be so huge. It should be normal, like what’s the big deal?  But it is. It is a huge fucking deal. Especially for those of us who lived through and remember segregation and racism at its worst. Michelle Obama is not special because she’s smart and tough. She’s special because she finally got the platform, front and center, to show that there are many women like her in the world. And she did a freaking amazing job.  Amazing.

And I guess that is my post. I was going to try to write something more deep and thoughtful but this will have to do for now because I’m off to visit family in South Carolina for a few days and see how the Obama love is working down there….

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So from time to time I check the State Sex Offender Information website just to see who’s lurking in my neighborhood. There are quite a few Level 2 and 3 sex offenders living within a 3 mile radius of my house. Not particularly surprising considering that I live in an okay neighborhood but it borders on some not so nice hoods. So here I am at the reference desk clicking through the names, looking at the pictures of the guys (yes, all guys) thinking “creepy”, “not that creepy”, “sorta cute for a sex offender”, etc. and then….. up comes a name I know. And a face to go with it. And a Level 3 offender, he is. Here’s the definition of a Level 3 Offender:

“These offenders pose a potential high risk to the community and are a threat to re-offend if provided the opportunity. Most have prior sex crime convictions as well as other criminal convictions. Their lifestyles and choices place them in this classification. Some have predatory characteristics and may seek out victims. They may have refused or failed to complete approved treatment programs.

Oh yes, it’s the guy I hooked up with shortly after splitting with my husband almost 2 years ago. We had an “arrangement” of sorts. He was pretty hot actually and agreed to come over once a month and have sex with me. He was strange – sad and sweet in a way, but hot nonetheless. 6’5″ and very lean/muscular with some tattoos. Just what I needed yes? No strings, just hot sex on demand. We never actually made it past the first month, however, because I met someone else and you know the rest of that story if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time. Level 3 continued to drunk dial me and crash my doorstep at ungodly hours for a while after I told him the arrangement was off. He was never scary or threatening… just sort of pathetic. He would tell me how beautiful and smart I was and why couldn’t we keep seeing each other??? Finally, I got it through to him that it just wasn’t going to happen. I moved from the apartment I was living in and never saw him again.

Until I saw his picture on the Sex Offender Information website, that is. The actual crime is not listed, simply referred to as an “out of state felony violation”…. My immediate reaction was pretty much revulsion, shock, horror, nausea. I had this guy in my house. I’ve always considered myself to have pretty good “antennae” when it comes to assessing people. I’ve been pretty lucky in life when it comes to picking up strangers out of the blue. But there he was. Mugshot and all.

After the initial revulsion and some deep breathing, I realized he was never any kind of threat to me. He was a lost soul. My antennae might be okay after all. I don’t know the circumstances of his crime. I never will. It could have been a real rape, or maybe he was falsely accused and convicted. Either way, I ended up feeling worse for him than I did before. Am I crazy?

In a startling turn of events today, Barack Obama called a press conference to announce that he is suspending his run for the Presidency in order to travel to Sydney, Australia, where he will attempt to nurse the baby whale “Colin” back to health and reunite him with his pod.

The plight of the whale has dominated news coverage in Australia since it was first sighted Sunday and began trying to suckle from boats it apparently mistook for its mother.  Previous attempts to guide the whale back to open waters have failed, with the creature preferring to stick close to the boats. One effort came from Aboriginal whale whisperer Bunna Lawrie, who visited Colin Thursday afternoon. Wearing feathers on his head and white paint markings on his face, Lawrie reached into the water to stroke Colin while singing a humming tune. But after a few minutes the whale swam away to nuzzle a nearby yacht.

Mr. Obama  stated  “Although a whale whisperer is certainly an expert to be respected,  my own vision of positive change and hope can be incorporated into a new and powerful form of whale whispering that will heal Colin. Yes, I can.” Later he added “Colin must also understand that nuzzling yachts is only fueling the frenzy of accusations that he is an “elitist” calf. If Colin is to nuzzle any type of vessel, it must be the vessel of the common man, say,  a dinghy or a Jon Boat.”

David Axelrod, Obama’s top advisor, issued a statement early this morning claiming that the calf communicated its desire to meet Mr. Obama to Bunna Lawrie during their whale whispering session. “Colin is young, much like the legions of young Americans and young people around the world, who seek a visionary leader to help put the world back on the right path – to lead them back to the pod, in a manner of speaking.”

Earlier this month, young Heroes star Hayden Panettiere, an outspoken advocate for Saving the Whales, came out in support of Mr. Obama.  Appearing by his side at the press conference today she said “Barry and I are friends not only to each other, but to all living creatures, especially whales and dolphins. We share the same values. I know he will do what is right, not only for Colin, but for all stranded baby humpbacks who are being threatened with euthanization.  And humanity in general. “

In reaction to this startling turn of events, John McCain has issued a statement calling Mr. Obama’s announcement  “a personal decision that I hope and pray will allay the unrest currently being felt by the Pakistanians.”

UPDATE:  Sadly, Colin was euthanized before Mr. Obama’s flight arrived in Sydney. The Obama campaign has not released a statement regarding future plans.

For some reason or another……. I’m. Not. Sure. Why.

feel free to leave your own caption in the comments section……

So I’m talking to my friend H. tonight. Basically we’re both sitting around whining about the men in our lives and how we’re so fucked up over them and blah, blah, blah, blah…… and I think? Why are we doing this when we could be sitting around talking, drinking wine, smoking some herb and watching foreign films? Men are good for nothing I tell her. But wait… they ARE good for two things: sex and lifting heavy objects. Oh I know how nice it is to feel some strong arms around you when sex is NOT on the mind, how lovely it is to sleep in the same bed with someone you can actually sleep with, like rocking on the same ocean as you dream, the beauty of just hanging out doing nothing together…. I have known all that and it is nice. But really men are mostly meant for sex and lifting heavy objects.

Unless you consider making babies, which, I suppose is a subset of “sex”…… at any rate. If he doesn’t come (over to my house I mean) I won’t build another addition on the fantasy. Jesus it’s good to feel clear headed once in a while…….

UPDATE: Who am I fooling? I like the arms around me at night and the sleeping together on an ocean of sleep….. I like the repartee, the give and take, the complimenting of skills, the drama… oh fuck, the drama…. funny. So funny.

From a doggie fashion show there ..  and you thought it was inhumane for some societies to eat dogs…

Thanks to H. for reminding me of one of my favorite sayings. Pearls indeed. This after I spend a lot of time writing thoughtful and well composed e-mails to a certain someone who either doesn’t respond at all or responds with one word. One unimpressive and non-committal word. So yes, we must remember not to cast our pearls before swine ladies and gents.

Now, on to other pressing matters. As you know, I am habitually late. To everything. However, I have been doing a lot better with getting to work on time since returning to Mayberry RFD. Today I was 5 minutes late and got an e-mail immediately from THE MAN, who was standing in front of me. Words? Can we not use words? I was just starting to like the dude a little.  I have plenty of perplexing people in my life already. I don’t need another one. But some things are out of our control. I feel like telling him he’s lucky I’m here at all considering my menopausal, asthmatic and brain dead  ass is barely functioning today.  Pearls before swine.